Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
