and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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