he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
