I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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