ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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