So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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