No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
