Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
