so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
