If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
