hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
