what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
