thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
