All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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