if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
as a side note pls kill me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
