I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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