I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
operation have a gay friend backfired
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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