If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
