remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
