Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
