So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
