what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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