Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
