I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
