i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
