would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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