hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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