Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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