I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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