She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
