are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
