whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I need help removing her.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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