I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
