Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
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