I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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