ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I forget how to act sober
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
