her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Randomize
