So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
