i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
