I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
