It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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