are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
