Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
where are my eyebrows?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
