I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
