So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
