went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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