walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
