I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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