This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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