Im at strip club and am horny
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
