Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
