you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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