And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
