I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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