I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
